Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Reality check

I found this entry in my old xanga:

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a
better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more, nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.


ALL of this is true! But I guess I had a hard time following through with most of them because of constant denial and false hopes of improvement. Not everything is meant to be and I had to end the thing that caused me so much stress and pain.

I guess it was a lesson learned for me. At least I can decipher between what's good and bad in a relationship now. It took a LOT for me to realize all of this, but in the end, I did the right thing to keep my sanity and attain happiness for myself. I'm genuinely proud of myself. I'm stronger than what I thought...

Now is the time to focus on myself and the goals I set for my future. I'm learning more and more each day to respect what I truly need and deserve. Love for myself is the best love that I can ever have.